Reclaiming Mother's Peace Day
Let's honor mothers by composting the patriarchy, abolishing war, and growing systems of love and care
Dear Enchantable readers,
I have a lot I want to write to you about this week - a lot has happened, lots of lessons to share (which will likely come later). But as I was collecting my thoughts, I realized that the day I usually send this out is Mother’s Day, in the US and other places. I don’t want to write about it - and yet, I feel like I have to. I can’t let this day go by without saying anything.
Mother’s Day was not on my mind or feeling very present for me. I live in a place (Costa Rica) that celebrates this day in August, so I am not particularly feeling it. It wasn’t on my radar. We will not do anything special to celebrate it. I am a solo parent, and if I want to do anything to celebrate myself, I have to arrange it, and the last thing I need is one more thing on my plate.
Nor am I ever really in the mood to celebrate this day. I am a mother, and I resent a day that celebrates mothers when literally every single other day, our work is demeaned and minimized and devalued. I abhor the celebration of this day when we live in a society with systems that do not support care work, or parenting, or children or women or mothers. That do not support birth or the health and well-being of birthing people. That do not support work-life balance for working mothers or parents. And on and on.
All I want for Mother’s Day is to burn down the patriarchy and replace it with systems grounded in care and love. Save your flowers, save your spa days1. All I want for Mother’s Day is the end of patriarchy and war.
This Rupa Marya thread on Instagram captures the spirit well:
When I think about celebrating Mother’s Day, I think about the countless Palestinian mothers grieving their children. The Palestinian children who have lost their mothers. The mothers in the north of Gaza unable to feed their children, facing famine. The mothers in Rafah facing evacuation and bombs. The mothers in Sudan and the DR Congo fleeing violence with children on their backs. The absolutely horrific conditions to be a mother in the world in so many places.
It pains me that I wrote about this five months ago, when grieving the anniversary of my mother’s death, and here we still are, only things have gotten worse.
Mother’s Day was started as an anti-war day, inspired by Julia Ward Howe, the abolitionist activist and poet. Mother’s Day was started as Mother’s Peace Day. You can read more about the day’s origins as well as Howe’s original Mother’s Day proclamation here.
It is a good day to reclaim this day.
I am not saying don’t celebrate mothers. Yes, please do! Please celebrate mothers and parents and caregivers of all kinds. But do this every day. Let’s do this by honoring and valuing care work. Let’s do this by honoring and valuing children and systems that make it possible for them to thrive, because the people who care for them and give birth to them are also thriving, are honored, that their lives and work are valued as sacred.
Let’s honor mothers by abolishing war, composting the patriarchy, and growing systems grounded in care and love. Do this by doing everything you can right now to stop war and genocide and wage peace.
With love and care, as always,
Stephanie
P.S. I invite you to join me in honoring this day by donating to PAL Humanity Initiative, which provides on-the-ground maternal health care in Gaza.
I still love flowers and spa days. I would like both, along with the aforementioned wishes. It’s both/and.